#389

I've decided to move operations.

I think as I've come to the end of J1, there are many things that should change and I think I'll need to move on and prepare for J2 (hur hur hur, sounds like something I say every year)

Okay that was to sound more..err..atas. HAHAHAHA.

The truth is. I've exported my entries, and since I've done so, I'd like to start on a fresh (web)page.

Everything here will stay, just that it will stay stagnant HAHA.

http://unravellingtheenigma.blogspot.com/

(I welcome you with open arms. Really.)

#388

I WANT A GIRL WHO READS BY MARK GRIST

“So, what do you go for in a girl?”
He crows, lifting a lager to his lips
Gestures where his mate sits
Downs his glass
“He prefers tits
I prefer ass.
What do you go for in a girl?”

I don’t feel comfortable
The air left the room a long time ago
All eyes are on me
Well, if you must know

I want a girl who reads
Yeah. Reads.
I’m not trying to call you a chauvinist
Cos I know you’re not alone in this
but…

I want a girl who reads
Who needs the written word
& uses the added vocabulary
She gleans from novels and poetry
To hold lively conversation
In a range of social situations

I want a girl who reads
Who’s heart bleeds at the words of Graham Greene
Or even Heat magazine
Who’ll tie back her hair while reading Jane Eyre
and goes cover to cover with each waterstones three for two offer
but I want a girl who doesn’t stop there

I want a girl who reads
Who feeds her addiction for fiction
With unusual poems and plays
That she hunts out in crooked bookshops for days and days and days
She’ll sit addicted at breakfast, soaking up the back of the conflakes box
And the information she gets from what she reads makes her a total fox
Cos she’s interesting & unique
& her theories make me go weak at the knees

I want a girl who reads

A girl who’s eyes will analyse
The menu over dinner
Who’ll use what she learns to kick my ass in arguments
so she always ends the winner
But she’ll still be sweet and she’ll still be flirty
Cos she loves the classics and the classics are dirty
So late at night she’d always have me in a stupor
As she paraphrases the raunchier moments from the works of Jilly Cooper

See, some guys prefer asses
Some prefer tits
And I’m not saying that I don’t like those bits
But what’s more important
What supercedes
For me
Is a girl a with passion, wit and dreams
So I want a girl who reads.

#387

Baked macarons today :> although they don't look like the lovely, elegant Parisian dessert, they taste amazing.

And today I realised how easy it is to make the French meringue HAHAHAHA late, but better than never.

I just wish I didn't beat my egg whites for such a long time :( oh well, there's always next time! Because macarons are just too expensive to buy on a regular basis. Honestly, since it's for my consumption, I don't really see the need for it to be exceptionally beautiful HAHA. What's more important is its taste!

And the chocolate ganache goes really well with the macarons shell, since the shells are really sweet. I shall try different variations of fillings the next time, because its the filling that gives the macarons its taste! :>

My delicious macarons are sitting in the freezer now and I really hope no one eats them because I don't have that many left, after snacking on the shells just now. Heh. I should have froze the shells just now so I didn't end up with so many broken ones :<

In other news, I'M DONE WITH PW F O R E V E R!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I've waited for this day ever since PW started and yes, I'm finally here. I never thought I'd get past OP but then again, I didn't think that I'd survive promos.

Thankfully, promos and PW are both over.

Truthfully, towards the end I wasn't even working towards the desired PW grade anymore. All I was hoping for was that time would pass more quickly so that I could be done and over with PW.

It's been long and tough, but I think I've learnt lots from PW. Like how to be more proactive when arranging for consultations and PR skills. I mean, my group mates (including me) aren't the easiest people to deal with. Despite that, the most important thing was the work, and I've learnt to put down my prejudices and work with the people even when I'm feeling like shit.

There were moments when I'd reared my ugly horns at them, but I mostly try to be cordial and polite.

Once again, through PW, I've seen how different I am from the people around me. I'm not sure if this is a good or bad thing, but I sure am different enough.

In any case, I'm no longer examinable for any form of group work, at least until after A levels and I plan on fully enjoying time when I can work for myself and not learn how to deal with people that aren't compatible with me or me with them.

Individual work is so liberating. It really is to your own advantage and you don't need to consult anyone else on the things that you need/want to do. Especially the fact that meetings with myself can occur at anyplace and anytime.

I love individual work.

But that doesn't mean that I'm not good at group work. I can do anything (including group work), if I just decide that I want to. When I don't want to, nothing can make me. (e.g. HC nominations hahahahaha)

I'm so enjoying life now before next week when lectures start again. I've got a whole stack of books from the library waiting to be read so...

Yay I love reading.

#386

Why does everyone around me take my frustration as anger? Is it because of the way I express it? Or what?

I realised that most of them time I'm not actually angry at anything; I'm just frustrated. And people simply choose to interpret it the way that they would, mistaking it for anger. I guess my face plays a part as well, I supposedly look angry/fierce all the time.

But then again, is it my fault that I was born this way? That my features make me look intimidating/angry/fierce all the time? Why do people take me for face value, literally?

Then there's my personality. I don't smile unless absolutely necessary or when I'm actually happy. So it's my fault for not smiling at people? Is it my life's mission to make other people happy? Why can't I not smile because it makes me happy? Why can't I not smile because it's comfortable for me? Must I go out of my way to make myself uncomfortable to make other people comfortable?

I just don't feel like smiling when I don't.

I know I've complained about PW so many times before, but ASDFGHJKLEWOIRUEORITUSDFVJLKFBVEROGHSBG why must there be another group meeting tomorrow?

It raises such frustration in me that I really am going to cry. Cry tears of frustration. And annoyance. And irritation. And most importantly, of helplessness.

I don't even know why I feel helpless when it comes to PW. The very thought of having to meet that group of people again tomorrow just ugh.

Words can't even express what I'm feeling.

Maybe it's my inadequate vocabulary. Or maybe my inadequate language skills.

I promised myself not to use the f word on the internet, but ARGH. I don't know a word that allows me to sufficiently express myself under such circumstances.

Someone enlighten me, please?

#385

Q&A sucks balls. Especially when I'm running on auto-pilot and can't remember shit about the project. Exactly what happened this morning during PW consultation. asdfghjlkjhge;rwoiedf

On the bright side, that was the last PW consultation E V E R !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Can't say that I'm fully prepared for OP, but still, yknow what I mean. And anyway my tutor seemed a lot more relaxed now that WR's been handed in. Aiya, whatever.

I've been wondering.

Doesn't it seem like all the Choi's are talented, smart, good-looking, well built, etc. etc.?

Like..Choi Siwon

Choi Minho

T.O.P (Choi Seunghyun)

Choi Jinhyuk

(T.O.P's the most good-looking, but that's irrelevant.)

This makes me wish I was a Choi too, but it's alright HAHAHAHAHA I'm happy being an Ong.

No, really, T.O.P is really good-looking. Here's someone else who's equally good-looking:

And cute at the same time :>

Good-looking people make me happy. I'm superficial, whatever.

P.S., JW, if you're reading this now, YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO!!!!!!!! Can you please go study and after your A's we can go talk talk eat eat laugh laugh point point :>

#384

It's unfair, but there really isn't anything that can be done.

One week is not a long time, heck, it is a short amount of time.

I just can't wait for OP to be over and then I can bid good riddance to PW forever.

But no, my OP has to be next week, leaving 5 whole days where my group can come up with more reasons to rehearse together and for my tutor to call for more group meetings/consultations. I appreciate all the effort that has gone in to ensure that we are fully prepared for the exam, but I don't want to see them anymore.

It's the feeling where you don't like a certain person, but am forced to work with that person day in day out, without even a small break for yourself to recharge/take a breather.

My tolerance for people I'm not fond of is really too low. Hence, having to stick with them everyday I go to school is plain torture.

What's more, certain people just love calling for extra practices as a group. In that time, I am only involved for about 20% of the time. What a waste of precious resource. Honestly, that group practice is only for that person who wanted it.

Can I get a wtf now?

Group work is now irrelevant, we now need to work on our individual parts and be prepared for Q&A which could be potentially disastrous, instead of meeting as a group and only making full use of 10% of the time.

Highly inefficient, I would say.

Since we're meeting on Friday, I'm leaving the moment consultation ends. And no one is going to stop me. No one.

Moving on to happier things, I went birthday present shopping with Janelle today. We've made a great improvement because we hardly see each other when it isn't Sunday HAHA. But it makes me really happy to choose presents for people we love because we can't wait to see the looks on their faces when they receive it.

And they'll be happy no matter what because they're obliged to.

No, I kid. But I truly hope that they'll love the presents we got them, because it is exactly that, that makes present shopping such a wonderful experience.

Although it sucks financially. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

#383

One more week before the end of PW FOREVER!!!!!!!

It's not a long time, but I'm just really upset bc a lot of my friends have their OP this week, aka PW ends on an earlier date for them. Not fair.

I'm grateful that we don't have to go to school for anymore OP rehearsals. I think if I see my group mates again/hear another comment about how I need to slow down or smile more, I'll literally flip the table.

Almost flipped today, thankful that I didn't.

What was supposed to be a terrible day was good in the end because I went to Tampines Mall with Chloe after all that shit and got Chewy Junior. AND lovely Body Shop soap at half price.

Nothing cheers me up more than good food and a good discount. #truth

I really want to journal, like picking up a pen and writing on paper, but I just cannot resist the lure of technology especially since typing is so much less strenuous on the forearm hehe.

Handed in the last written assignment for PW today. Didn't feel like much actually. Maybe because the only date I'm looking forward to now is 5 November 2013.

Who knew that talking and answering a question would cause so much stress. I mean, aren't girls perceived to talk so much more than guys? Shouldn't talking come more naturally to girls? HAHAHAHAHA apparently not.

Sighpie. I'm not about to go back to school during the week again, not until the actual OP date. If I screw it up then, I screw it up.

It's not about the desired grade now, it's all about wanting/needing it to end right now.

I promise to memorise my script more thoroughly and be crazy familiar with potential Q&A questions. One week is more than enough for 10min of speaking. Right?