okay, so anyway, i was blog stalking my teacher. hehe. anyway, it's really well written. to a point where i was actually moved to tears. well, i didn't bawl my eyes out or anything, but there were the few stray tears that escaped my eyes.
so, i was thinking. i blog that is well written is really a joy to read. especially if it's thought provoking. and not so much descriptive of the process, but more reflective of the event.
and i've been thinking. alot. mostly about my turbulent feelings. hehe. i guess it's the plague of being a teen. the mind runs wild. and the imagination goes amok. and i feel like i'm dislocated from the world. haha. how awesome eh?
but what is it that we really want?
friendships. an awesome part. full of joy and heartbreak. making friends is difficult. totally unwanted. haha. i don't like it, at least. but once the friend is made, it's a wonderful journey :) from there, we learn what is having a crush like. haha. i like that part. the liking part. HAHA. i'm so weird.
but why do we like? so much confusion. and hidden agendas. i'm going to say i've got hidden motives for hanging out with some people too. sigh. it's just sad. and i feel like i'm getting obsessed. gah!
and i have to bring my focus back to God. He can fill up any empty hole that my heart contains. even the one that a 'boyfriend' is supposed to fill. haha. not that i wouldn't want a boy. hehe. it's so easy to stray, but so hard to come back.
like the Chinese proverb, '学坏三天，学好三年' or something along those lines.
gah. too many distractions. everything can be a distraction, ain't it?
so anyhow, i feel like i'm like a blur now. sifting through each day without actually feeling the day. like a day at school can feel like a dream and i feel as if i haven't learnt anything at all. each day is passing so fast and before i know it, it's sunday again.
i want focus. how i felt last year. like each day was something worth living for. feeling every single day to the core. remembering clearly what each day stood for.
the days now just fly past like i'm a being that's outside of the world. just watching the world go past, not actually participating in it.
Life is like a coin. You can spend it any way you wish, but you only spend it once.
Lillian Dickson
and i've got a new obsession. card tricks! HAHA. i just find them so cool. (:
09.08.2010
