Number 340

i like starting with cool one liners. haha.

the chinese paper today with poop. and i must have gotten the questions wrong because i felt that it was pretty easy. shit. i think i'm going to kill myself. gah. i can't fail! must not fail at all costs! :S

then the english paper yesterday was...okay, i guess. haha. but i don't wanna jinx anything now. heh. i was sneezing and my nose was dripping yesterday lah! so terrible.

hoho. so. sunday was rather weird. cause p&w had super alot of people. HAHA. but i guess the children's day outing was pretty tiring. haha. the teachers came back looking like. ugh. but but but! i like Yiwen's new camera! :D

saturday was super super super fun! hehe. got ferried around everywhere. and got to go on a spinnnnn~

and i ride home, may i add. haha. but rehearsal was SUPER PHAIL. Shalyn wasn't there! and well, i screwed up. heh. still.

lunched. at fei fei! :D back to church, spin to tampines. :) study. :S dinner at old airport road! :D haha. i feel so spoiled. got driven around everywhere. hahahahahah.

well well. i must study. gah. i can't afford to fail manz. i want to choose the subjects, not the subjects choosing me.

ah. well. i think it's really embarrassing to read my own posts. haha. i'm thinking of deleting them. HAHA. i think i will. once i've exported them somewhere else.

and, people still blog stalk me! HAHA . awesomeness. could you occassionally leave a tag? haha. and i shan't post such explicit stuff here anymore. hehe.

i've got so much i wanna say, but when i finally post, i don't know what to say. HAHA.
28.09.2010

Number 339

Like a fire shut up in my bones
I want the world to know You are God
With a passion burning deep within
I want the world to know that You
live

Let Your presence come and saturate
Every part of me, make me
new
Let Your Spirit come and move within
Fill me once again ’cause I
need more

Jesus I’m desperate for You
Jesus I’m hungry for You
Jesus I’m longing for You
‘Cause Lord You are all I want

Come
like a flood and saturate me now
You’re all I want
Come like the wind
and sweep throughout this place
You’re all we want

- Like A Fire by
Planetshakers

23.09.2010

Number 338

i'm a happier person now :D

though the exams are looming and then there's the competition at the end of the year and streaming and a whole lot of other poo. haha.

oh wells. band stopped for the exams. and i'm happy. reaching home before four everyday. haha. catching up on watching tv! :D must start studying! manz.

the maths mock paper today was shit. total poop. i opened the paper and saw the indices question and went, "shit. damn it." gah. and i totally forgot pythagoras' theorem could be used for one of the questions! and left it blank cause i was thinking about toa cah soh. -.-

then there was one semicircle question. never read the question properly. GAH. and a polygons question. totally forgot how to count the interior angle don't-know-what. i think i'm going to fail maths end of years. and the class is going to get it from ewk.

Mr Chai's not coming to school for FOUR WEEKS! my history's just going to wilt. HAHA. he had some emergency eye operation. apparently his retina came out or something like that. brrrr. ms chen's taking over his history lessons.

haha. she's super funny. then she digress alot also. :D her voice is like hysterical ALL THE TIME! haha.

i need to study. gah.
23.09.2010

'Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to
please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of
Christ.'
- Galatians 1:10

Number 337

you know what? i feel so vulnerable now. all because of one freaky incident on sunday. gah. it still freaks me out whenever i think of it. i'll post it some other day, when i'm more free.

for now, it's hurry post and then go to sleep. cause tomorrow's the piano exam! :X

it may not be a very high grade or people may think that it's okay to anyhow play and then score a pass. but i know that i can play well. i've heard what i've played. i want to play well and at least do some justice to the pieces. though not very much.

one thing i'm dreading most is aural. goodness. i abhor aural so very much. half the time they want you to sing. well, i can't sing. me being in the choir in primary school's a fluke. if not why aren't i in choir now?

so. i'm looking forward to scales :) scales are fun. make me look pro! HAHA. especially chromatic and contra-motion. hehe. i like D Minor. :D

hmmm. yup. i'm still pretty much freaked out about walking alone. ah gah. stupid.

oh wells. the exam timetable's like shit.

27 Sep '10 : English Paper 1&2

28 Sep '10 : Higher Chinese Paper 1&2

11 Oct '10 : Geography

12 Oct '10 : History

13 Oct '10 : Literature & Science

14 Oct '10 : Maths

darn darn darn. why must lit and science be on the same freaking day?! but thank God maths' the last paper. more time to prepare, i guess. but i really really can't take it. i can't even do the simple questions lah!

it's back to sec1 manz. *must finish assesment books!*

not looking forward to exams. the only good thing about it is going home early. to study. and making notes. haha. i like making notes on fool scap paper. i'm so weird. but i can't stand palm cards. so small. gah.

yeah. i seriously hope to do well for history. haha. i'm so weird. i like history. weirdly cause i can score bah. but still, i'm heading for pure geog! :D haha. don't wanna suffer like Suyi with hist and bio.

i'm really proud of myself! haha. the photos from the Tioman trip have been developed. and they look AWESOME. i liked the scenery shots the most. cause they look like they're from a postcard and they also look like it was taken using a DSLR.

well, both are TOTALLY wrong. I took those photos using a digital camera, and they're for real. :) i think i'm going to post them here. HAHA. then put watermark. :D but i'm serious, they look fabulous. even my aunt says so. haha.

i'm looking forward to band prac on wednesday, cause there's ice-cream! :D i'm such a pig. HAHA. and band on thursday too. cause it's the last band prac before breaking for EOYs. awesome. then i'll have lots of time to study.

and i'll be on fb all the time. HAHA. but i'll study. yes, i'll study.

and and and section lunch on friday! :D for Jingwen's birthday. haha. and it seems that we're going to pastamania. awww man. i wanted to go to subway! and Carolyn Chow and i are sharing the treat for Jingwen. phew. haha. i'm so broke!

and i need maths help. haha. who's pro in maths? *pulls out hair in desperation and regrets it immediately* and i'm not going to ewk. not over my dead body. no way.

so yeap. i shall post more often, cause i need to rant. and i don't like writing. HAHA. diary's are meant for more meaningful things. not rants. love my rants people; cause they're coming right up. :)

13.09.2010

Number 336

i'm soooooo busy! gosh. it's even worse than usual school days. heh. so it seems like school is a very god excuse to reject being busy! awesomeness. haha.

and i haven't even started on my holiday homework yet! yeah. so those people who're just starting, don't feel bad. cause i haven't even started. and i've got more homework than the longgg holiday homework.

two full-day band pracs. the p4 leadership camp. and i'm only free today and friday. and well, i'm stuck. should i do maths in the afternoon or go to the flyer with my family? >.<

and ewk scared me. yeah. the stupid angel breath thingy. 2C people should know. HAHA. stupid.

i'd better go do the online Chinese one now. haha. anyhow do. :P
08.09.2010

Number 335

i love everybody in my life. even the most annoying ones that irritate the crap out of me. and i love everybody in a different way. super cool eh? HAHA. but yes, it's true. :)

but of course, there are some that i love more than others. and some less. well, that's pretty obvious. it speaks for itself. haha. yeap. so, i love everybody. i don't hate anyone to the gut; maybe just for the moment, but i hope not forever.

so. let's see. i've been thinking. i feel like writing letters. good old-fashioned letters. know why?

cause everytime i get a letter, i'll feel very happy inside. and emails and fb wall posts don't make me feel that way. maybe that's the magic of handwritten letters. yes, it is. i'm sure.

i feel like writing letters. to somebody. a few people, actually. tell them how i really feel. but to whom? there aren't many people i'd entrust my secrets to. none, in fact. except to my Daddy, of course. :)

i'm just, so so tired of keeping it all inside. i want another good crying session. like the one i had at CAC. oh, that was epic. thank God for Pearlyn. yes. and i think i made her shoulder really wet. oops! >.<

and it's amazing how much stuff i've got caught inside again. the last three months have been hectic. the avalanche of projects, people leaving, sudden revelation of feelings. and so much more thinking done. especially the thinking part. i really thought alot. and busted my sms limit twice. HAHA.

and it's only going to get more busy this and next month, with preparations for exams, and preparations for the trip to Genting this december. and i can't go for CM camp. did i mention that?! i'm just so pissed that the Genting trip and CM camp clashed.

and i'm so going to flunk maths. gosh. it's not panic anymore. it's fear. pure, white fear. actually, it's not even fear anymore. it's sort of being resigned. i don't know how much practicing can help anymore, or whether i can even understand when someone explains it to me. and i really hope you read this, Aaron Lim!

or maybe i should just do it the Gillian Peck way. sleep two hours every night and study like mad. yes. yes. i think i should do that. then i'd get the things drilled into my head. and end up with horrible dark eye circles under my eyes. oh...my looks don't matter. results are more important. yes. results are more important. anyway it's not like i'm going to have to count on my looks right.

i feel like the person being described in Stained Glass Masquerade by Casting Crowns. i think i totally just am. yes. i'm just losing myself, bit by bit. but what's holding me back? i should just act until i don't know who i am at all anymore. yes. then nobody would know what a horrid person i am inside.

on the brighter side, i'm an aunt now! oh gosh. i feel so old. but yes, my newborn niece is very lovable. :) she's so small, small hands, small toes, small everything. but she's got really pretty big eyes. i love her eyes. my eyes wouldn't ever be so big eh? and she's so small. only 48cm. i can't imagine myself being smaller than her. cause i was smaller than her when i was born. haha.

and i'm going back to Kong Hwa tomorrow :D for the p4 leadership camp. lovely. i went there last year, and i'm going back this year. and i think i'll be really appalled by the juniors there. heh. then there's always band to look forward to on tuesday and thursday. :) and i'll spend wednesday and friday doing homework and studying. yes yes.

i need to talk. or at least cry. who's willing to lend me their shoulder?05.09.2010

Number 334

okay, so i got another flash of inspiration. thanks to somebody. haha.

so, we always watch in shows that there will always be this guy and girl that likes each other. so if the guy likes the girl first, then he'll use every method possible to woo her and curry her favour, isn't it?

so then the girl will have this other guy that she likes or that is chasing her too. and then she'll reject the first guy. right?

so then once the girl rejects the guy the relationship between them will be uber awkward. so then what happens?

then the girl will also discover that she actually likes the guy and try to win him back lah. [i totally don't like this part at all. HAHA.]

so anyway, then they'll thrash it all out and add in another few complications and there you have it! a plot worthy of an audience.

hmmm. yes. so, how many of these cases happen in real life? in reel life, maybe.

but how many of us hope for it to happen? a classic fairytale story. i think every girl does. i do too. :) which girl doesn't want hordes of boys chasing her? haha. oh puhleeze. if you say no, you're kidding yourself.

yes, but how many girls chase after a guy? alot lorh. haha. and how many people know about it? hehe. :P

and ultimately, how many of us get hurt? most of us, ain't it?

yes. it's a really random post. the most random one by far. haha. trying to figure some stuff out, but apparently, i'm just getting more and more confused. that's no good. yes, that's very bad.
03.09.2010

Number 333

it's the last day of school! heh. i totally shouldn't be happy lah. gosh. i should be worried cause i'll need to mug mug and mug even more! oh goodness. don't remind me of last year. gah. and the ton of homework's here!

i don't even know whether i can finish it all lah. and i love Miss Thang. cause there isn't science homework! HAHA. and and and the stupid exam timetable. maths and lit on the same day. gah. so should i study for maths and not for lit? HAHA. then i'll just die.

i didn't go back to KHS on tuesday. haha. too lazy. gah. but the teacher's day celebrations was epic! Mr Hutton cross-dressing, the teachers dancing and the cheerleading. :) Suyi and me sat together and we sang Waka Waka! and she did the high-pitched thingy.! :D i like!

yupyup. the next day was spent mostly slacking and sleeping! HAHAHA. but i did homework lorh. :) i'm so guai. heh.

yes, and i got my diary. :D happy happy. now everything goes there. my deepest secrets and thoughts. everything that i can't post here or anywhere else cause then i'll just totally die. or become like a certain person. sigh.

though i've got the diary, i'm still not that accustomed to it yet, it's just like when i just started blogging. haha. just the mundane description of my day, not yet the random thoughts i get sometimes. yeah. i just hope it'll get better! and i'll write everywhere i go. :)

and even though i write, i still pour everything onto the Lord! :D well, at least my hopes, dreams and wishes. and everything i cannot put to words. cause i know He knows. what's best for me and what i can't put to words cause it's just too hard.

and i'm texting. quite alot actually. haha. i shouldn't text so much. and i think i'll just turn off my phone during lessons. haha. helps me to save sms-es! :D

gah. i need someone to have dinner with me~
03.09.2010

tags! :D

Hui Shan: Yes I agree w/ Ms Thang, DON'T TAKE PHY!! Haha GLEE FTW
(:
me: HAHA. yes! i'll take bio! :D :D i'm such a Gleek! :D

swedha(:: don't worry about fb, it isn't rly an accurate representation
of everything. you've got your friends. like me. awww but yeah, don't worry
about it!
me: HAHA. THANKS :D i feel loved! love you too! :D