I thought these feelings were gone. But now it seems like they're back, and back with a vengeance.
I hate these feelings. They make me feel so helpless and useless and like my whole life is a failure.
They make my decisions seem like shit, and that I'll never be capable of making sound decisions on my own.
It just seems like everything related to school since the year started was all a wrong decision, and now I'm reaping the fruits of my choice.
I've tried, and am still trying, to see the best in every situation I'm in but I keep meeting with obstacles and things that make my optimism void.
I don't know how long can I hold out for. I've been telling myself it's only another a year and a half before I leave this hellhole and that so many have done it before me. But I see my friends have fun and take the opportunities presented to them, and I look back at myself.
My opportunities were gone when I started down the path that eventually disqualified me. There is no way for me to turn back the hands of time and choose another path. I don't even know how to salvage my own ass and pathetic portfolio.
Now all I pray for is His grace and His joy to envelope me, and keep me from destroying myself.
