I realised that most of them time I'm not actually angry at anything; I'm just frustrated. And people simply choose to interpret it the way that they would, mistaking it for anger. I guess my face plays a part as well, I supposedly look angry/fierce all the time.
But then again, is it my fault that I was born this way? That my features make me look intimidating/angry/fierce all the time? Why do people take me for face value, literally?
Then there's my personality. I don't smile unless absolutely necessary or when I'm actually happy. So it's my fault for not smiling at people? Is it my life's mission to make other people happy? Why can't I not smile because it makes me happy? Why can't I not smile because it's comfortable for me? Must I go out of my way to make myself uncomfortable to make other people comfortable?
I just don't feel like smiling when I don't.
I know I've complained about PW so many times before, but ASDFGHJKLEWOIRUEORITUSDFVJLKFBVEROGHSBG why must there be another group meeting tomorrow?
It raises such frustration in me that I really am going to cry. Cry tears of frustration. And annoyance. And irritation. And most importantly, of helplessness.
I don't even know why I feel helpless when it comes to PW. The very thought of having to meet that group of people again tomorrow just ugh.
Words can't even express what I'm feeling.
Maybe it's my inadequate vocabulary. Or maybe my inadequate language skills.
I promised myself not to use the f word on the internet, but ARGH. I don't know a word that allows me to sufficiently express myself under such circumstances.
Someone enlighten me, please?
